Typical

Today is just like any other monday for me, except I feel like doing this...

to everyone around me at work, because they have their...

and all I really want to do today is...

anyone who wants to join me can, but on one condition...

The Weekend

We had a quite a busy weekend and boy howdy let me tell you my body is feeling the after shocks of it. I feel like I have been rode hard and put away wet…...figuratively speaking of course.

My brother, whom I love to death, came over Friday night and hung out. He hadn't intended on staying, but after sharing a drink with Chris after his long day…...he ended up staying for pizza and bullshitting with us for quite a few hours. I love the time I get to spend with any of my family. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers ranging from age 3 – 26 and they all live within 30 minutes of me. We are all extremely close and talk to each other every few days or so and often see each other once a week. It amazes me how busy we are and still stay so tight knit.

Saturday morning I had a 3 hour Chem II lab class….yawn….it basically sucked ass. Moving on…..

Also, you may remember me saying something about a camping trip this weekend. So yes we went Saturday afternoon and we indeed all survived the Cub Scout trip, with only a few minor issues. I think I have a new permanent curvature in my spine, due to the wonderful root that I slept on, but I am hoping it will go back to normal and I will lose the limp. Kidding. I took some pictures, none of me of course, and will post them probably tomorrow after I take them off the camera. It was a rather interesting experience to say the least, but enjoyable for the reason that we did something as a family. I will save all the wonderful stories for the pictures.

Sunday morning after packing up camp at the crack of dawn and returning home, we all cleaned up, put everything away and relaxed. Well not me, I spent 3 hours writing up the 5 page lab report from Saturday, before I allowed myself to lie down. I took no books with me whatsoever on the trip. I had decided to devote all of my time there to them and homework could wait, so it piled up. After a short nap, Chris went and got us lunch and then took all the kids to go see Jackass 2. I contemplated letting my 7 year old boy go and see this, but decided I don't mind him seeing it. These guys do the dumbest shit and they always get hurt. I figured if he could see a few consequences of ignorant actions maybe that would prevent him in the future from doing something stupid. We shall see. First time I see him hanging off the ceiling fan trying to jump across the room…...I will know I made a mistake.

I spent the time while they were gone studying and trying to catch up on homework. No such luck. Needless to say I will be spending every spare moment between patients today getting done what I can.

Thanks to those who sent their thought regarding my daughter. Despite the fact that she can no longer play basketball, she is doing great and has had a new opportunity open up for her. You see when she first signed up for basketball…...she also was asked to be on the yearbook committee. Practice conflicted with committee time and she decided she couldn't do both. Well since she can't play basketball…...she has decided to join the yearbook committee. So life has a funny way of working out and a new door has opened up for her. Plus her true passion is for softball and she will be all healed up by then. Hopefully.

SAVE THE APOLOGY

I am not one who is big on empty apologies. You know the ones consisting of the overused phrase "I am sorry". It just doesn't work for me. I think society has overused the phrase as a scapegoat from actually facing the realities of what it is that they actually did. It has too often been used as a quick fix. Like where the giver of the apology thinks that all they have to do is say sorry and that it is.

For me, actions speak louder than words. If you tell me you're sorry for something you did, well it just comes across as words to me. It is about the same as telling me the neighbors have a red toaster. It doesnÃ?t mean diddly to me. If I don't see the remorse or the true feelings of being sorry when apologizing, than you might as well not even waste your breath. I would much rather you not solely depend on the fact that most people expect to be forgiven, just because they said those few simple words. I want you to actually take the time to think of what it is that you are actually apologizing for. I mean are you actually sorry or are you just saying it to make nice with me? Do you really feel you did something wrong? etc......etc...... If not why admit you did?

It also goes both ways on this. I don't and will not apologize just for the hell of it. I also will not apologize, until I fully understand what I did wrong, why I did it and understand what the consequences of my actions have created. I don't do fake. Some people just want the apology for the words and really don't care too much for the meaning behind them and I won't do it. I don't care how much you feel you deserve one and how much you just want to hear those word, it will not happen.

I am tired of people devaluing words with fakeness. I try, and I say, try to live by the following:

Don't say things you don't mean and mean everything you say.

Granted no one is perfect and I often say things I don't mean, but I at least try not to do it. I think they are good words to strive to live by.

Well I don't really know where I was going with this. Its mostly gibberish, but I guess I was just in the sharing mood.

If you haven't already, please check out the latest part to the Great Novel Write of at:

http://www.thebluedoodle.com/bookoff.html

Also 2Mara and Dalectomys dual story is up and it is hilarious:

http://www.thebluedoodle.com/2anddale/2anddale.html

ITS ME AGAIN

So yes we are still moving. It sucks and I look like a poster child for the battered women's shelter. I still can't believe we have so much shit. Another day or so and we should be all done.

Another thing is that my little man turned 7 today and it makes me sad. He is growing up so fast. So we will be spending today and tomorrow doing the birthday thing also.

Also, for you damn people that keep deleting your accounts without telling anyone.

Stop It!! Right now DAMMIT!!

I hate when I sign on only to find I have lost someone I care about. It drives me crazy to know I have no way of contacting them. I may not get to talk to many of you beyond myspace messaging, but I still care for all you guys. I have developed a friendship with you and then when certain people just disapeer with no notice it pisses me off. I mean don't they have any respect for the people they are leaving? Did they even really care? I don't know. I could just be overly bitchy and making a big deal out of it. Chris' friend told me last night he could see 666 engraved on my forehead. I didn't even bother checking it out for myself, because I seriously wouldn't doubt it.

Anyways I am off to deal with life. If you haven't already check out the new edition of the doodle. The next part of my story and Amy's is posted if you are interested in keeping up with them.

Click below:

http://www.thebluedoodle.com/bookoff.html

Hopefully I will have some other things to write about next week that don't involve bitching. Thanks to you all for dealing with it.

Have a great weekend.

In case you were wondering

Just a little update. We (devil inside and I) are still in the process of moving. We do not, as of now, have internet access at the new place. It should be done today. So I am sure we will be back to myspacing it up shortly.

We are both beyond whooped and we still have a few days of moving and unpacking to go. If you are missing us that much, message me and I will give you my number and you can call and harass us. lol

I can tell you it will take at least a week to recover since every muscle in my body aches and I am basically a zombie. Good times.

Hopefully after this weekend I will be able to get back in touch with you guys. I have a lab on Saturday at the beach and my boy is turning 7, so once all those events are done and moving is complete. I should be back in to the swing of things.

If this blog doesn't make much sense, sorry. Bare with me, I am tired and don't want to take the time to reread it.

Happy Thursday!

Call It What Ever You Want

Well, as most of you know, my life has been rather shitty lately. I have been dealing with too many things at once and I will be the first to admit my mood has suffered greatly. I find myself in a state of utter discontent and sarcasm towards everything. I hate being this way, but honestly I am realist. I take a situation and I lay it all out on the table and I see how it is going to turn out. I don't put my faith in a false hope of something turning out good if I know for a fact that it is just not going to happen. Because I see things this way, I gain ill feelings towards it before the outcome has actually occurred. I don't judge the others in my life for feeling differently and putting faith in the fact that things just may turn out differently, but I will not put the seed of false hope in their head either. I don't really know where I am going with all this, but I feel like there needs to be some big changes in my life and I just don't know where they are. It is funny how life sometimes just throws you in to a pool of water without teaching you how to swim first. I know I will figure this all out and I will put faith in the fact that I am a fighter. I will not back down from these things I want and I will not allow myself to be defeated. I will overcome and find what needs to be changed and I will sort out the rest along the way. Until then, I guess I will just take it one day at a time and try to find ways to help with my discontent. As for the constant profile pic change, well that mainly has to do with my mood at the time. I have found a series of pictures and each defines the different feelings I have been going through.

Sidenote: I am doing okay in general. My feelings and emotions are just so overwhelming at times, because I feel things very deeply and passionately. If you know me at all, you know that this is nothing that I can't handle and in the end I will be victorious. I know what I want is out there it is just a matter of finding it.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend. Take advantage of this wonderful Sunday, because as we all know it is back to the rat race tomorrow. Life is literally passing us by right at this moment as we are wrapped up in Myspace.

I love you all from the bottom of my sarcastically beating heart.

Life is more than a bitch........

Whomever said that life is a bitch is fucking wrong. She is a god damn cock sucking whore. I know I said that I would blog about some of the things that I love, but right now I dont have any other emotion in me except sarcasm and anger. I am at my wits end. What ever crawled up the cosmos ass that made it decid to make my life living hell is beyond me. So what put me over the edge you ask? Today in general along with the plethora of bullshit I have been dealing with for the last 2 weeks.

I go to work today as usual and play nice with the other employees, since I have been warned that my attitude sucks because I dont socialize enough with all the fuckers and on top of that I have to deal with all the lovely BS that is going on in my life.

We have 3 weeks to find a new apartment. That is not bad except the real estate agent does not comprehend that we want a three bedroom and that I am not fucking paying more that the outrageous price we are already paying. She keeps referring me to 2 bedrooms apartments that only rich people can afford. I hate the area we live in. Everyone has more money than god and just assumes that you do as well. After dealing with that shit all morning, I get to deal with our lovely worthless mortgage broker. I seriously am starting to think he got his license out of a cereal box. Yes I understand the mortgage we are asking for is a complicated one. It is for an out of state house and the amount is abnormally low. In addition to that Chris already owns a third of the house. I swear they want to know everything right down to my tampon size and daily usage. I am to the point I am about ready to stick a fucking fork in his eye. Moving on.

My daughter had an orthodontists appointment today and I had to take her up their and hemorrhage out some more money so that she can have nice teeth. This is a part of raising kids and I dont mind that, it just makes a little difficult to handle when her father is not only a grand behind in child support, but is supposed to be splitting the costs with me and hasnt paid a damn cent. Fucker.

To top my wonderful evening off it was raining like a fucking bitch. Apparently someone fucked the parking lot up outside the dental office and I go out and my car is sitting in 2 feet of water. I try to start the bitch, not knowing I shouldnt have, and know I think my car is fucked. We had it taken to the mechanics shop that Chris works at and I will find out tomorrow if I have to buy a new engine or not. Hopefully their isnt too much water in the engine, although it is definite that there is some. If I have to buy a new engine I can just forget about eating for the next year.

I could go and on, because honestly there is a list of about 5 other things that are fucked right now that I have to deal with, but if I keep going I am probably going to cry and I dont cry very often.

I do have to say although things have been beyond rough for me right now, you people are all great. You bring smiles and sunshine into my dark and dreary life and I am extremely thankful for it. You will never know how much all the little things you guys do help me out.

With all that being said I hope you all have a wonderful rest of the evening. I still have a million things yet to do and I am sitting here writing all this shit with a towel still on my head from showering because I need to just bitch about it and move with my night.

I love you all from the bottom of my sarcastic barely beating heart.

Please check out Flaming Moes recent blog. He is really good and deserves to have more people reading his stuff. Check it out here.

Do not do the following..........

I want to first off apologize for my drunk commenting on Saturday night. I don't drink very often, but I did that night. I signed on to myspace out of boredom, while Chris was on a beer run and I know I made blog comments, I just don't remember exactly where I left them. As for the ongoing list of vocab words, I will incorporate a few more into the blog.

Anyways, todays blog is about how to not annoy the hell out of Mystery and get on her bad side.

Pet peeves and annoyances

~ Stupidity is by far the biggest annoyance to me. If you act stupid or look stupid and it affects me in some way, we have got a problem. There is no excuse for the level of stupidity that some people possess. Stupidness is the result of laziness and I don't believe that bullshit that some people are just smarter than others. Horse-Shit! Some people just apply themselves more and put an effort into educating themselves. Education doesn't necessarily mean only subjects like Math and English either. There are many different types of education, such as Art, Music, Poetry, and pretty much anything in general.

~ I can not stand when people expect things to just be handed to them all the time and whine when the tables turn and they have to work for things. Life is hard and those who work for what they have get more enjoyment out of the things they get. Working for things is a part of life and it is something we just have to do. All the whining in the world is not going to change a damn thing. In my opinion those who struggle for what they have are more realistic outlook on life in general.

~Do not under any circumstances lie to me or about me to someone else. There is no difference between a big lie and a little lie either. So lying to someone by saying you can't access my profile just so you can have an excuse to talk to them is just as big a lie as if you wrecked my car and didn't tell me about it. If you lie and I find out about it, you will not get a second chance. You will be forever known in my book as a liar. I don't give a shit what you do, it will not be very facile (easily done) to redeem yourself from your guile (deceitful or cunning) behaviors.

~ I am not a genius, but I am pretty damn intelligent, just as many other people are. Please do not for any reason treat me as if I were stupid. That will only get you in an argument you don't want to be in. I am not only book smart, but street and common sense smart as well. If you do something or lie and try to hide it or cover it up, I will find out about it. I also will not fall for you stupid moronic excuses as to why you did something wrong either, so don't even bother wasting your breath. I always find out everything about everything.

~ Anyone, with their hubris (arrogant pride) attitudes, who thinks they are better than someone else without a justifiable reason needs to stay the hell away. I can not stand when arrogant people put themselves on a pedestal and mock or make others feel small in anyway. As we all know everyones shit stinks just the same and no ones smells like roses. I don't care who you are, we are all human beings and we belong to the same single species. Many people have lost sight of this along time ago and seem to think that they belong in an elite species of humans and that the rest of us are just beneath them.

~The worst thing in the world for me is when a child is harmed, either emotionally or physically, in any way. I can not stand it and have absolutely no tolerance for it what so ever. Children are born into this world innocent and naïve and then everything changes that when they are exposed to society and the screwed up adults around them. Children are the most precious gift that one can receive and some people take advantage of it and don't realize the impact that their behaviors, not only has on the child itself, but the well-being of our future generations as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So those are just a few things not to do to stay on my good side. (What did you guys expect? It is Monday for crying out loud, you can't expect me to be too pleasant.) Anyways, apparently certain people needed to be reminded of a few of the above, before they dug themselves an even bigger hole with me.

Tomorrow maybe I will post some of my favorite things and lean towards a more positive side.

Have a Day.

Aberation

Aberration - staying away from that which is normal.

I was reviewing some terms last night and this word got me thinking about my own status of sanity. I realized I have pretty much strayed away from the state of normalcy that so many people try so hard to achieve. I really don’t want to be normal and I find it funny when others whine and say, but I just want to be normal.......have a normal life........a normal family........and bladity-bladity-blah-blah. Normal sucks and is boring. If you categorize yourself as normal than you are basically categorizing yourself into a group of lame, uneventful, chicken shit sheep. You never go outside your little circle of comfort and spend your lives doing the same things day in and day out. You never actually get to experience life.

Now I wouldn't necessarily categorize myself as looney tunes, but I am no where near normal and I am okay with that. It makes my life interesting and fun. I see things differently and feel things differently. I am more perceptive to opportunities. I guess you could say I am like a bag of m & m's, you never know what color you are going to get. (I just couldn't bring myself to use that tired ass Forest Gump saying.)

Normalcy, in my opinion, involves a lack of emotion or passion. Proof of this is that people don't go wacko or psychotic over an issue, because they feel nothing about it or are okay with it. The emotional episode is the direct result of some form of passion or strong emotion and they do it, because the emotion and passions fuel their reactions. Although, I am not prone to emotional outbursts over negative issues, I do feel very passionately about everything and everyone in my life. If I love you......I love you to death........If I don't like you.......I despise your existence and so on and so on.

I don't get what the constant strife to be normal is all about. Normal is black and white and the world is not black and white. There are a great deal of fine to dark gray areas in between. In fact, black and white are not actually considered colors and can not be found anywhere in nature in pure form. Black is actually defined as the absence of color and white is the blending of colors.

So, why is it some people choose or strive to live in the realm of normalcy? Hell if I know, but for those that do.........I invite you into my crazy ass world for one week and I promise you won't want to go back to being normal ever again.

For those of you wondering where this crazy ass A.D.D. blog came from, it stems from lack of sleep last night and from studying the list of 700 vocab words I have to know for the GRE exam. And yes I am only on the A's. *sigh*

Happy Thursday!!

Sidenote: I played the Sims 2 last night for the first time and I have to say I am addicted. I don't usually go for computer or video games, but this one is really fun.