Camping

My sister Shell and I were talking the other night about going camping in Key West. She was really excited, but I just couldn't match her enthusiasm, because I don't do the camping thing. So this prompted me to do a blog on 10 reasons why I don't do camping.

1. Outdoor Toilet Facilities

I don't care how much Lysol you use or how much paper you put down, outdoor toilets are just nasty.

2. Community Showers

It is never cool with me to shower in a place where every other athlete's foot infected human has rubbed their disease all over the shower floor.

3. Sleeping Accommodations

I don't get what would be fun about having to sleep on a paper thin blanket on the ground on top of rocks and god knows what else.

4. Bugs

If you have ever been to Florida you may have seen these huge cockroach looking bugs called Palmetto bugs. I ain't about to have one of these nasty ass things crawling on me in the middle of the night. (Also, did you know that every time a fly lands on you it throws up? Makes you think twice now doesn't it.)

5. Food

I will not eat any food that contains questionable contents and is cooked on a freakin stick. "Contents can also be questionable, with cheaper types of hot dogs having been known to contain snouts, ears and organ meat blended." Check it out for yourself. Wikipedia

6. Housing

I don't care what you say, a tent is not enough shelter against the down pours of rain we experience here in Florida. All it would take is a 30 second rain and everything you own would be absolutely soaked.

7. Fire

It has been my experience that men alcohol small campfire = huge ass raging bonfire. There is something about fire that seems to kick up their testosterone level about 10 notches. While the men dance around the fire making it bigger and bigger, the women usually stand off to the side shaking their heads in shame.

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8. Electricity

I don't care how many camp lights you put around, there is never enough light to do shit. Especially if you have been drinking, which is a common past time amongst campers. It becomes a chore to do anything after dark, because you have spend all that time making sure you don't step on anything or trip and land on your ass.

9. Refrigeration

I am sorry, but having a cooler full of ice just doesn't cut it. It is too hot here for a bag of ice to last more than an hour or two. The food ends up getting wet and the beers become all slimy, because the labels start to peel off after soaking in the melted ice.

10. Cleanliness

I can't stand to be sweaty and dirty. It physically makes me extremely uncomfortable and bitchy. Ask Devil Inside how much I enjoyed the last outdoor concert we went to. Well why don't I just wash up you may ask? Please refer back to question #2.

Now please don't get the wrong idea. I am not a high maintenance girl who doesn't like to get a little dirty every now and then. I just think there are ways that are more fun. lol If you guys are music lovers and have a moment, check out my bro's site and add him as a friend. He is extremely talented and has done everything on his own. He worked his ass off to buy his own equipment and even though he couldn't afford to go to college he spent every spare moment studying music. He was even recently asked to submit a demo to a huge broadcasting company in this area and is in the process of starting his own record label. Stop by and show him some love.

Side Trak Productions