Thursday, November 30, 2006

It seems that no one is safe these days

I have been tagged by Courtni, whose punishment at this time is still undecided.


I really hate these things, but I will play nice today. Don't get used to it though…

My Name…Cara (now just forget I told you that)

Childhood Ambition…to be a doctor

Fondest Memory…when my family was a family

Soundtrack…Dazed and Confused

Retreat…muahahahaha yeah right

Wildest Dream…will have to be saved for another day, since this is a G-rated blog

Proudest Moment…everyday that I make it home without having wrapped my hands around the throat of someone who deserved it

Biggest Challenge…my life in general

Alarm Clock…is the worst thing ever invented

Perfect Day…there is no such thing

Last Purchase…2 liter of diet dr. pepper and gas

Favorite Movie…Love Stinks

Inspiration…myself

My Life…is like a box of chocolates; only I always know what I am gonna get…the one that taste bad and I want to spit out

My card…Queen of Spades

I usually don't tag, but I feel like sharing the misery errr love today. So I tag

~*Kristie Lynn*~

My world of 13

Exiled2Colorado

Neely O Hara

Devil Inside

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

And so it continues.....

So yea these random thoughts are basically carrying over from yesterday's blog.

~I came to the realization yesterday that maybe it is time I go have a seat on the porch. I think I have been running with the big dogs long enough and if I keep at this pace there will be nothing left.

~I am tired.

~I also have an issue with taking on too much responsibility. I know no limitations on the amount of responsibility I can handle and really pay no mind to the amount of stress that it will entail. I usually just do it. It is like I am walking around with this bag over my shoulder and it is full of rocks called responsibility. But the thing is, is that these rocks are not just my rocks. They are my daughters, my sons, Chris', my families and so on. In that bag is a little bit that I have taken on for someone else. Well recently unbeknownst to me a small hole started to form at the bottom of the bag and slowly but surely some of the rocks started to fall out. I was totally unaware that they were missing, as I had taken on too much and didn't realize it until it was like "ummm yeah what the hell happened there". So a new patch has been put on the hole at the bottom of the bag and instead of filling it to the brim and breaking my back, I started to pass the responsibilities back on to those whom gave them to me in the first place. I can't be everything for everyone, because then I become nothing for myself.

~Okay enough with the metaphorical mumbo jumbo.

~I have been watching the seasons of Married with Children every night before bed. It is odd, but falling asleep to the sound of Al's sarcastic humor and "fuck it" attitude makes me smile and fall asleep easier.

~That lady from the Appliance Direct commercial is an asshat. I swear just because of their annoying commercial I will never in a million years purchase a damn thing from them. Never. I don't care how much they say I can save.

~After class last night I go out to my car and open the door and to my surprise there was a 2 inch long Palmetto bug on my car seat. Nasty Nasty Nasty!!! If you don't know what those are they are basically a giant roach. They live outside basically everywhere in Florida. I give myself credit. I did not let the profanities fly….I simply scooped it up with some papers I had in my hand and chucked into the trees. Okay so I did call it a nasty fucker, but I was tired. Class was pretty draining.

~Accepted is a pretty good movie.

~I was talking to a friend last night on the phone, Carol, and we were talking about human nature and our need for certain things. And after I hung up, I realized that I don't smile enough. Nothing amuses me very much anymore. Granted I can argue that smiling gives you wrinkles anyways. But I think I need to find a way to lighten up and laugh a little more.

~The remake Velvet Revolver did of Surrender is really good. I love Scott's voice.

~Did I mention I was hungry? Oh well I am too lazy to read back through and see if I said that already.

Well on that note I need to go get something to eat from the break room. I am running on empty.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Fa la la la Blah Blah Blah

Hello all. Hope everyone had themselves a wonderful holiday weekend. I know we did. It was nice to be around family and I think between me, my sister and mom we put out a pretty good feast. Enough food to cause me to gain 2 pounds over the last few days.

Just out of curiosity anyone out there brave the Black Friday shopping blitz? Show of hands. Eh that's not too bad.

How about anyone decide to do the Black Friday shopping blitz with strep throat?

What no one? Really?

Yeah so it was me.

Thursday I felt a little bit of something coming on and as the day progressed it seemed that it wasn't going to amount more to anything but a simple cold. Later that night after everyone left, Chris and I briefly discussed whether there was anything worth going out for. Best Buy had complete computer systems for really cheap. We have a new computer, but the kids each have their own and they have done a real number on jumbling them up. I figured since I was tired of fixing their computers "what the hell" it was only a couple hundred and you can't beat that. So we made plans to get up at 3 and arrive 30 minutes before they started handing out tickets.

Well I went to bed that night with a horrid migraine and when I woke up the next morning after only 3 hours sleep I felt like crap. I figured it was because I didn't get much sleep and ignored the rising fever that I had and the stabbing pains in my throat. Really it takes me at least an hour to be able to function normally in the mornings. So we go anyways and get there after just a few minutes and pull in the parking lot to see a flipping line all the way down the front of the store. Well yeah I figured there would be people there, but not that many. There were 150 people lined up and waiting for tickets I guess.

We decided since we were there we would go stand in line anyways. Even if the computers were gone by the time we got to them, at least we could get them new TV's like we had originally planned. So after an hour and half of waiting I thought I was going to murder someone. My fever continued to go up and the people around me were irritating to no end. I swear if they had bumped into me one more time before we went in I was going to turn around and knock them the hell out. That is how bad I felt and Chris…poor Chris….apparently there is some morning male ritual that morning he skipped to be there and he was in need.

Turns out the asshats at the front of the line had been there since 9 the night before. I mean how ridiculous is that to leave your family on thanksgiving to go sit in line at a store. To each his own I guess. Anyways so they got the tickets for the computers. Blahdy Blah for them. We went in and found some TV's and then Chris took care of his business. I basically stood around barely moving while he was away, because my eyes were starting to blur over and I know if someone ran into me I would have ripped them a new ass and made a seen.

We paid for the TV's, PS2 games, and other DVD's I picked up along the way and then we left. Chris dropped me off at home and headed to work. It was about 5:20 AM. I went in the condo and went strait to my bed and didn't hardly get up for the next day and half.

I am all better now, but sometimes I wonder if my head is stuck halfway up my butt. I really should have just stayed home. My kids have enough as it is and it wasn't necessary to go out and get them another computer when they have one, just because I am tired of fixing theirs.

Oh and that reminds me. Funny thing happened yesterday. I was in my room typing up a paper and Chris aunt was over to pick up his son. They went outside in the parking lot to meet her. My daughter comes in frantic asking if they already left and I told her to calm herself down and no they were still there. Two second later she returns slamming the door and I call her to me and ask her why. She says she don't know and I ask if she found them and she said no. I told her to go the other way and she started to run off. I called her back and told her once again to calm down and quit being a spaz. She ran out the door.

She returned yet again shortly and ran off to her room. Chris came back in and asked me if she and I were arguing. I told him no and that I just told her to calm down before she hurt herself. He laughed and said that he seen her walk out the door and stand there for a moment and then she stuck her tongue out at my window. Then he said her name and it scared the crap out her.

Technically sticking your tongue out at me in my house warrants it getting ripped right out of your mouth, but I admit I didn't get that mad. For some reason I laughed and remembered back to being her age and how hard it was dealing with hormones. I called her in the room and asked her if she did it, with a grin on my face of course and she grinned and said no. I told her how she was busted and told her not to get so upset with me, I was only trying to prevent her from hurting herself. Running around like a mad woman could be the cause of yet another broken arm. I told her I loved her and sent her on her way. I guess at least she didn't flip me off. That is a plus.

Well that is enough babbling from me. I have much more to share, but I will save it for tomorrow.

Have a great Monday!!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I am thankful for...

I was thinking in-between patients this morning about what it is I am thankful for and I realized that I don't give it much thought any other time outside of Thanksgiving. I mean I often think of things that I am lucky to have in my life, but thought is never given to giving thanks for them. To me that is sad. I know that despite the roughness surrounding our lives over the last few years there are things that I am thankful for. Things that have molded me and shaped into who I am today; Both good and bad. I guess not even so much things, but people.

I can say that one of the things that I am thankful for is the relationships that I formed with some of the people here on blogger and myspace. I don't have much time for a social life outside of school, work, and my family. (and as most of you know I have an extremely large family) I just don't get that luxury. The friends I had before were much more demanding, selfish, and everything centered around them. I hate to say it but I just don't have time for people like that in my life. But I do and always will have time for the friends I have made through here. You don't demand my time or attention incessantly. You have listened to me ramble, cry, rant and rave and even made time to just say I love you. I could walk away from myspace today and be okay with that because I know that I would still have most of you. I talk to you guys outside of blogger and myspace and what started out as a necessity has become not so important anymore. You all have filled my life up with so much and I am truly thankful for that. You are all so unique and special in your own ways and each of you has something about you that I adore and of course most of you can make me laugh until I pee. So I thank you all for you kindness and thoughtfulness and for just being you and loving me, since as we all know I am not an easy person to love.

I hope you all have a happy and safe Thanksgiving and enjoy your time with your family and friends. Also if you don't have a place to go……my door is always open.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Ramblings...

Howdy all. Just another little blog about…well about absolutely nothing of importance to any of you, but your gonna hear it anyways.

I am in weird mood today. I am my usual tired self, but I am also really far out in left field. I don't know how I am functioning. I just got a call from Chris. He went to my son's Thanksgiving meal today at school and he had to call and tell me how much fun he had. Apparently he arm wrestled everyone in the class. He loves kids and they love him.

Tonight we go and pick up the younger of Chris' two sons from the airport. He would have been here yesterday, but I had a re-re moment and booked his flight out of Philadelphia instead of Pittsburg. (insert Mencia saying da-da-da-daaa) Seriously though, I think I hit the mouse scroll button and didn't realize it, because they are right by each other. Too bad Philly is only about 4 hours away from Pittsburg. So needless to say I spewed out a great deal more money to correct the flight. (insert dramatic sigh)

My mom is also flying into the same airport tonight so that is cool. We will go early so we can see her before Chris' son comes in. Haven't seen her in a few years so it will be nice.

The next few weeks are definitely going to be full. Of course this week is Thanksgiving (my sis and I are doing all the cooking), next week we are going to see Disturbed, Stone Sour, 3 Days Grace, Flyleaf, and Nonpoint. Woo Hoo! That should definitely be fun. Then the week after that we are going up to Mckenzie and then heading our to see Ms. Burst My Bubble and of course then up to Adams to see the Bell witch, which kind freaks me out because I am a chicken shit. It would be my luck that I would be the one to piss the ghost off thus bringing forth an all mighty wrath. Okay so I am exaggerating, but my luck is really not that good. Then after that is Christmas….woo hoo!

The pups go to the vet today; So far so good. They have been both fun and exhausting. I will post pictures of them soon. They are adorable. Josephine aka Joey and Jonathan Davis aka J.D. are the names we decided on.

Well that is it for now.

Happy Thanksgiving.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

It's Cold

Friday night, like I said, we went to the hockey game.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


I admit for some reason Chris and I weren't as enthused as we should have been. The games are usually very fun and exciting, but to be honest after working all day like we did…...we both would have rather just bummed at home. But the kids wanted to go since it was cub scout night and all the scouts were going to be there. Apparently they were handing out badges if they went. You know how important hockey skills are to a cub scout. Especially in Florida.

So we went and I just want to say that I was reminded that night how much I hate ice and cold. I was soooo effin cold the whole time we were there.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


I had on jeans, shirt, long sweater jacket to my knees, and heavy boots and I was still freezing my ass off. Funny thing though, I don't remember it ever being that cold in there before. Maybe it is because the last few times we went, we were drinking before we got there. I don't know.


But anyways the kids were excited for, ohhh about the first and ½ of the second and then they got bored out of their minds. There just really wasn't much action, which is surprising. I mean yes they had there occasional throwing up against the wall, but other than that not much worth getting excited about. They did have one little sissy fight, but they might as well have pulled out the bitch slapping gloves and hit each other with them, because it was pathetic. My kids got in a worse fight in the parking lot on the way in.


Nevertheless they still won.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


And I have to give it to their goalie is a pretty bendy little guy and does a great job.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


I also came to another realization this morning. Florida has officially made me into a weenie. It is about 55Âş this morning and my teeth are literally chattering. I have on two shirts and a sweater jacket and I am still cold. I never used to be this bad. I mean for crying out loud as a kid we had to go out in zero degree weather to feed and water the horses and we would be frozen by the time we got in. Snot would literally freeze on the bottom of our nose as you would stand there with the water hose. Then you would get your glove wet and that was fun and then it would stick to the pitchfork while your pitching hay into the wheel barrow and then you had to wheel that thing down a mother effin hill that hit rocks all the way down and you had to try and maneuver the thing so it wouldn't topple over and then the fun part was throwing the hay over the fence while an ass load of horses have their big ass snouts over the fence trying to get a bite before you throw it in…….shit deep breaths…….in and out. Sorry about the little digression there, but thus you see how much I hate snow and the cold. Loved the horses hated the cold.


Anyways.......


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Wonder Woman says have a happy Monday!!

MI

This useless information brought to you in part by Lipton Ice Tea. Nothing like a good dose of caffeine to bring out the morning rambles.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Nothing Prepares You For It....

It has been an emotional roller coaster in our house this week. Sadly our little puppy started having seizures last week and while at the vet's office he passed away. It kinda hit us as a shock to say the least. We had only had him for a few weeks. But what has shocked me the most is my confusion of feelings over it. I know I felt remorse and sorrow, but more so for the kids. I only felt for myself for a few moments and then it was gone. It was all about the kids and I didn't even have time to work through my feelings. I of course know they are there, but I somehow subconsciously told myself that I wasn't allowed to feel for very long.

When it came to the kids, I knew it was going to hit them really hard. This is the first dog that they had ever owned. But honestly I had no idea of how hard. I wanted to be able to prepare myself before telling them so I tried to remember when I was growing up and what it had felt like to lose a pet as a child. I couldn't for the life of me pull that memory into the forefront. I know they are there; we'd always had dogs growing up. They were always a part of our family. We also had rabbits and horses as well that had passed away while we had them. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't remember the emotions I had felt when they were gone. I couldn't remember how a child feels loss.

I will say that there is nothing in the world that prepares you to break your children's hearts in a situation like this. Even now as I sit here at my desk and look over at my kids smiling picture the look on there face that afternoon is forever burned into my mind. The tears, sadness, and confusion just over ride their innocent little hearts and minds as we had to explain to them that it just wasn't the puppy's fate to live.

I feel guilty in a way, because when Chris and I went and picked Ben out we let our hearts over ride our brains. Ben was the weakest of the litter and we felt like we were rescuing him from the other dogs. He wasn't visibly sick or anything like that, but he was small and his brothers just whooped up on him something fierce. He was the runt and the connection did not click with us when we got him, what the survival rates of runts are. Nonetheless we overall feel like it was fate for us to take him home, because honestly no one else probably would have and what little life he did live was filled with an enormous amount of love.

To make up for our loss we decided that we would immediately fill that void once again and get a new puppy for the kids. This time we took the kids with us when we went to pick one out. So we went up to the store, with no ideas or definates on what we wanted, we decided we would let our minds and hearts work more together this time. There were two beagles there just like Ben, from different parents of course, and we decided to let the kids get them out and play with them and feel them out. Two hours later the kids were still sitting there playing with them; brother and sister playing with another brother and sister. It was heart-filling. So when it came time to choose no one could do it. Neither Chris nor I could even pick. (He of course wanted both.) It was too hard, so after much deliberation with myself and a great deal of pacing, I slipped away up front and told them we wanted both. Yes I had lost my mind monetarily. We did not tell the kids we got both, we wanted to surprise them and when they came home last night it was definitely a memorable surprise.

So our family is whole again and yet I find myself slipping closer and closer to insanity. I forgot what it is like to be around two puppies, especially active ones. (Ben wasn't very active) They are going to give me grey hairs or a coronary by the end of the week. I swear if I had heard them boing one more spring while they were horsing around under the bed last night I was going to need shock therapy to bring me back.

But I guess it is another sacrifice that I am willing to make….my sanity for the laughter and joy of my children. I also know what comes around goes around and one day they will be laying in bed cursing the dog or dogs they bought for their kids.

Tonight we are off to see the Everblades hockey team play and watch some guys kick the crap out of each other *insert male like grunt here*, so that should be fun. I owe a few of you phone calls and I will be doing that this weekend.

Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Night Out


Okay so the pictures are finally here from the weekend. Enjoy. lol


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Brother

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting



Brother in Law and Chris

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Chris

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Sister

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Yes she is still blabbing. lol


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Daddy


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Brothers friend we shall just call A.D.D.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The bar at the bottom of the resort we went to.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Brother and brother in law and brother.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Brother, Chris and I don't know whose hand that is in the back.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

A.D.D


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The inside of my brain.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

The beach.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sister trying to touch the water.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sister laughing because she is trying to touch the water.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

A.D.D got a childs chair stuck on his ass.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sis sitting in childs chair while A.D.D has chair stuck on his ass.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Wants to know what we are laughing at.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


These things are fucked up. The are table and chairs, but they are a giant swing.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I don't even know.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Here either.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Next bar.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Standing outside of Hooters. Me, Sis, and A.D.D.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

So busted. Chris used to chew tobacco many many many years ago and I just despise the shit, well aparantly he had some in his truck and my brother came around the corner and surprised them with a picture. Chris and I shall be discussing this later.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Chris after a few shots and beer and Captain.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I don't know.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Still talking.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

I don't know what I was looking at. Probably A.D.D. doing something A.D.D.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Sleeping?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Yet again don't know.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Dad giving the thumbs up to Chris.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Yet again with the chair stuck on his ass.

This video has everyone in it. It is really dark, but I am the last one on there. I have no idea what the hell kind of dance my brother in law is doing. I think the humidity was getting to him.


Well that is that. Happy Wednesday

**Update**
So I had to share the update on the chewing tobacco. Although it does very much look like a can of chew it was not. After Chris looked at the picture he told me what it was. Apparantly him and my brother in law were just being men and Chris was sharing with him this wonderful new chrome polisher that he found for his truck. Technically he wouldn't be in "trouble" for the chew, but he would get razzed about it for sure. So the hardy har har is on me.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

They Said Yes

Good news I guess. I got a very important phone call last night. (It was actually during the middle of chem. II and so I didn't get the message to call until after class.) It was from the admissions coordinator at one of the two graduate schools that I applied to. She left me her number and told me to call her at home. I found that odd and I was actually nervous, but I did it anyways. Turns out she just wanted to personally tell me that I was accepted. I thought that I would be more excited to hear it, but for some reason all I could say was "That is great. Thanks for calling me and letting me know."


I don't know maybe it is because I have my other interview in TN coming up in a few weeks and nothing is settled about where I want to go to school or what happens if I get into both, but I guess overall I should be happy that no matter what I will be going cuz one of them said yes. (Wow that was an effin long sentence.) And in a way I do feel privileged that they accepted me. It is after all the largest private university in the Southeast and is the 6th largest private university in the United States. So it is definitely a big school and the PA program is difficult to get in as it is.


Another thing that was weird was that I received a email from UNL (University of Nebraska) requesting that I check out their school and apply and blah blah blah, which I know is normal for some schools. They have their standard package they send out. The thing that was weird about this is that there was more to it. They had obtained my GPA, GRE's, and basically my entire college career and started throwing around money and such. They were recruiting me to go to their school and throwing out their bargin. I don't know. I know some of my family would be excited. They are Huskers through and through, but that just isn't my thing. I never really had the attachment to that state that most of the famdamily does. I don't think I lived there long enough. Oh well....


At any rate...some of the pics from the weekend will be in a blog tomorrow. I didn't have time last night to get them uploaded. I know I know....boooooo.


Have a great week!


MI


This blog full of useless information was brought to you in part by insanity with a splash of stress. The finer things in life.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Twas Fun Indeed

So a quick update....everyone survived Saturday without any major mishaps. I indeed out drank Cooter Brown, but kept myself composed. Meaning I didn't fall on my ass or off of anything.


Woohoo for me.


There was an incident with a body outline in chalk, ya know like the police do, but other than that all was good. Well okay so I think I may have called someone a bitch or a cunt, but she deserved it and yes I probably needed to wash my mouth out with Clorox after the swearing, but damn don't judge me. I did good. No hangover...no throwing up...no nothing other than a headache.


I will do a picture blog in a day or too, I just need to get some pictures from my brother to add to the ones I got. There are some good ones.


As always the new part to the untitled sci-fi short story is up. Read it or don't. Click the link.

http://www.thebluedoodle.com/writerpages/mysteryinside.html


Since I am in the sharing mood I figured I would show you one of the pictures from other night. Well not really I don't know who this is, but I thought the picture fit. I would hate to be this chick. lol I bet

her family is proud.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Hooters!!

Well like I said we are going out tonight for my brothers 21st. I just got the word that we are heading up to Fort Myers Beach. This should be interesting since everytime Chris and I head up that way we seem to get drunker than Cooter Brown. I think it has something to do with the salt water in the air or something. Hopefully we can manage to behave, but I doubt it. Chris is all ready in rare form. Our first stop tonight is going to be Hooters and beyond that it is a toss up. There are about 50 bars all down the beach. I will be taking the camera along and if anyone wants to give me a call later tonight and laugh at my drunk slur...please feel free. Hope you all enjoy your evening. I know we will and of course we will be responsible with our driving.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Mater

Last night I fell in love. I have always had a thing for the cute little pixar characters and my recent crush has been Little Squirt from Nemo, but that was until last night. Chris and I watched the movie Cars and there he was....


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Tow Mater


He made me laugh so hard and I mean just look at him. He is adorable. I don't know if it is the redneck in me that loves the rustic look and the buck teeth, but whatever he is still a cute little shit.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


I know this blog was pretty much pointless, but eh I did it anyways. Tomorrow night we are going out to get my brother schnockered for his 21st, which should be fun. I haven't been out in I don't know how long. Maybe I take the camera...I am sure I will do something ridiculous at some point or another. Oh and I did get my hair cut, which I have not had done in about 3 years. Not because I like my hair long or anything..I just haven't had time to cut it. I don't always make time for me. It is also back to blonde. No more funky red. Yup more pointless information for you.



Anyways......


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!

Happy Day Shell

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

Happy Birthday to my little sister Shell!!


Thursday, November 09, 2006

Happy Day Jim

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LITTLE BROTHER

JIM!!!!!!!


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Just Babbling

Ever have one those days where you have so much to say, but yet you don't? I don't know could just be me. I haven't been myself for a really long time and I guess I am just searching for a way to bring myself back.


I wonder sometimes if I made a mistake in going back to school. I mean I have one degree and a good job, so why did I have to push for more? The sacrifices made not only by me, but my family, have been big and I don't know if it was fair to them.


I know that people say that it will all be worth it in the end, but will it really? I mean how can I ever get back the time that was lost? How do you make up the sacrifices that a 7 and 10 ten year old make for you? How do you not stress an already stressed relationship?


I just don't know how to walk around with a happy positive face when I am so tired and beat up inside. I think my brother running away from home was the straw that broke the camels back. I miss him so much it hurts and even though we now know where he is, the chance of him returning home is none. I think that it is just not a reality that I am willing to face at this time and it is tearing me up inside. I keep expecting him to show up at the door and make me laugh like he always did.


Anyways...at some point I have got to figure out how to sort this shit out, because it is consuming me too much. I mean for shit's sake, I got up this morning, dressed and then came to work and it wasn't until I was at work that I realized my scrubs looked like they got washed with a bottle of white out. Effin white splotches everywhere. I look like a kindergarten student during finger-painting time. Freakin ridiculous.


At any rate, this is just me babbling as usual, so pay no mind to it. I just need a way to vent it out. It may also have something to do with the fact that it has been rainy the last few days. I am really starting to think that I get depressed when the sun isn't out. I guess you just get too used to it when you live in Florida.


Have a great week.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Ben, Camping Part 2, Sci Fi Part 3....and that's it.

Okay a few things today....


First, this is the newest addition to our family. Sam, the pug that we had, returned to his home in WV, so to make up for his absence Chris and I went and bought this little booger to replace him. He is just as sweet as can be and I can tell that he is going to be a spoiled little brat, just like the rest of us. Everyone meet Ben. He is just a few weeks old. Expensive little shit too.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Second, here is the rest of the pictures from our boy scout camping trip at Koreshan.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


So where were we...oh the hiking trip.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


This is the dinner bell in the middle of the town. Yeah the kids made for damn sure that the thing still worked. In fact they checked it a few times.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


This is the front porch of the old school house. It was a lot bigger than most school houses from that time.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


These are my favorite kinds of trees. They are just massive. This picture really doesn't show you how big it actually is, but trust me when I say it is huge.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


The whole troop sitting on the school steps.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


These are just a few of the old homes, if you could call them that.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


My other favorite trees. These ones were rather taller than normal, but they are still awesome.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


The campfire. The camera didn't take that great of night pictures so I quit.


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Last picture of the night was my son trying to talk to Chris son, with a mouth full of smores.


Okay and last but not least, the next part to the sci-fi story is up on the regular writers page.


Click to read: CLICK HERE


Happy Monday to all and thanks to those who stood by me through my sugary relapse this weekend. Hopefully I will be good from now on, well until next Halloween that is.