I won't say I get hit on all the time especially since I make myself extremely unapproachable when I go out. But the male ego gets the better of a few of them and they try their shit anyways. They just flat out ignore the vibe I am giving that says "I dont want to be messed with". Now I am the type of woman that if I am out and a guy tries to hit on me or talk to me, I will look at him and smile and then just walk away. Yes, I am that kind of bitch. I am sorry I just don't want to hear it from some other guy. I love my man. If I want to talk to you I will come to you. But, at work I have no choice I have to tolerate the bullshit that these men sling at me and be nice about it. So after reading the awesome Ninas The Shit I Get! blog I was inspired to do my own called:
The Shit I Get At Work
You would think that after 40 years or so of experience that you men could come up with some really impressive lines to tell the ladies. But it seems that despite all the years of practice that is not the case.
The majority of the people that I deal with at work are men over the age of 60. For some reason they feel the need to find a way to get my attention with their stupid pick up lines and jokes. It's as if they have a Viagra hangover from the night before and their testosterone levels are still through the roof.
This is the shit I get.
#1
Me: Are you allergic to anything?
Him: Beautiful women so you better keep your distance.
Me: Uhh...OK, but seriously are you allergic to anything?
#2
Me: I am going to take your blood pressure. Have a seat over here.
Him: I can't do that.
Me: Why not?
Him: Because as soon as a pretty blonde like you touches me my blood pressure shoots through the roof.
Me: Believe me sir there will be no touching involved now take a seat.
#3
Me: I am going to remove this tape and it may hurt coming off if it has attached to any of the hairs on your chest.
Him: You know this would be a lot more fun if you were wearing leather and carrying a whip? (I made sure to pull the tape off slowly on this one.)
This last one I am going to tell you about happened to me yesterday. If you read yesterdays blog Flowers and Crosses and Chuck Noll Oh my! you might remember that I was getting weird gifts, well this happened not even an hour after I wrote that blog. It is the weirdest one I had heard in a while, but I have to give the guy credit for coming up with this one. Picture a skinny, sleezy, little grey haired man in his 70s.
#4
Him: I brought you a gift.
Me: Oh yah, what is that? (I have that this shit better be fucking important because I am busy as hell look on my face)
Him: Open your hand.
So I open my hand and he puts two tiny pennies in it.
I had to take a picture of the pennies. I have never seen any this small before in my life.
Him: Now close your hand.
Me: Okay.
Him: Now open it and make sure both the pennies are facing heads up. Do you see two cars?
Me: (Looking at him like he has lost his fucking mind) No
Him: Hmm........are you sure, because I see two
Me: HaHa very funny.
Him: Do you see the snakes?
Me: No
Him: Well I see two copper heads.
Me: Got me again.
Him: Do you see any fruit?
Me: (I can feel my foot start to twitch like its gonna start to tap from the impatience) Sorry yet again no.
Him: Well I see a pear (pair of pennies).
Me: Well this is fun and all, but I really do have to get back to work.
Him: Oh just one last question. Do you see the sex?
Me: What?
Him: Do you see the sex?
Me: Uhh no.
Him: Well what do you expect for two cents?
I have no idea what to say to this 70 year old man after this. I am speechless. I just smile and say "Well thank you very much for the laugh and I hope you have a nice day" and turn around and walk away. I can't believe that this guy just wasted all my time to tell me this silly ass shit.
What is the worst pick up line that has been used on you or that you have used on someone else?
This is a picture from our balcony that I took last night. This is one of the reasons why I love
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