Stupid Cupid

So today is the day of love, Valentines Day. I can honestly say that I truly despise this holiday. I think it is the biggest crock of shit. I just don't get it.

It drives me insane that people put the whole bearing of their relationship all on one day and a gift. I can't fathom how that is possible. How can any gauge another's feelings by a mere gift? Isn't it easier to just leave it at……if you love someone and they mean something to you, tell them. Tell them every chance you get, don't put all of your feelings and emotions into something as ridiculous as a bouquet of flowers that are going to die in a few days. Put it into something more lasting, such as continual declarations of love and respect for the one you share your life with.

The thing that gets me the most is how early on in our lives this holiday causes distress. Pressures are put on our kids at school to give Valentines to all the kids in their class and share in a "holiday" party with their other classmates. But as a parent, I don't like the way it makes my kids feel.

For example my son is 7 and wholeheartedly believes that girls have cooties. Every year he gets a class list and we sit down to do the dreaded writing out of his Valentines. When it comes to giving the girls in his class a valentine, he gives me shit. He doesn't want to do, because for him in a way it is admitting that he likes the girl in than platonically. He analyzes what the Valentines say to make sure that he doesn't send the wrong idea to any of the girls in his class. That to me is ridiculous. Why should he have to basically lie about how he feels about a person, just to be able to participate in a class party? He shouldn't. He shouldn't have to say that he "choo choo chooses" anyone. He is way too young to even be thinking about love. He should be much more concerned with other things that are appropriate for his age, but yet the schools go for it and he is left with no other option but to follow along so he doesn't feel left out.

Another example is my daughter. She is 11. For her the whole liking boy thing is new and awkward. She is barely learning about how to react around boys and sort out her feelings towards them and to put any kind of pressure on her to give or receive Valentines only hinders her self-esteem and security. If she doesn't get Valentines, she will feel like shit. If she doesn't give Valentines, someone will make her feel like shit. It is truly a lose-lose situation. I don't understand why in the hell she even has to bother with such a thing, when being a pre-teen is hard enough as it is.

For me it only makes me angry to get a Valentine gift. Don't get me wrong giving me a card or telling me you love me because it is valentines won't send me over the edge, but it only makes me question why you are doing it. Are you doing it because you want to please me because you love me or because you fear my disapproval? I don't know if any of this has to do with the fact that I don't like getting gifts in general. I don't like to have someone give me something and worry about not giving them the reaction they would like to receive. Truth of the matter is I don't need much in my life and when I get a gift I can only think of the fact that there were better ways to have spent that money. I can't justify it in my mind why I am deserving of a gift. I would much rather you love me all year long. I would much rather have your devotion and respect, than some pre-made card with someone else's words on. I would much rather hold the key to your heart, than shovel down a box of fattening chocolates.