Teflon

Disclaimer: This is one of those blogs that will make sense to some and not to others. It will also both make sense and not to some. Understand that? Confused? Good then read on.


So I was loading the dishwasher the other night, which I only do as often as necessary, which is hardly ever, and there was one skillet leftover that there just seemed to be no room for. Typical of my life, I thought......too many dirty dishes, not enough room......too many problems, not enough time.

Anyways…I decided instead of leaving it in the sink for the next go round, which could be a while, I would hand wash it. I am not above getting my hands dirty. So as I was washing the pan, I noticed how easy all the gunk came off because of the Teflon and couldn't help but wish I was made of Teflon.

I wish that the hurts, sorrows, pains, and dramas of my life could be easily wiped away with a sponge just like the pan with Teflon.

But no, everything sticks to me like an old cast iron skillet. Every pain, every bit of sadness, every piece of hurt I carry with me, just sticks and won't go away unless I break out the Brillo pad and force it.

I also realized that the reason why they stick to me that way, is because I let them sit. I let them harden, so I don't have to deal with them. When doing this to myself I try to rationalize that I need time to sort them out, I need closure that I am not getting, and so they sit and wait and get hard.

I know why I am this way. My father is the same way. He doesn't deal with things, unless he has too. It is a very bad habit that I picked up, because now it has become all too easy to just not deal and I don't want that. I want to find inner peace within myself. I don't want my hurt keeping me up all night, haunting my dreams, butting its way into my life constantly. I want to be done with them. I want to let them heal and scab over, if need be. I want to smile again, I want to laugh, and I want to live my life.

So I guess it is time to break out the Brillo pad and pull up my sleeves, because unless a miracle happens......I will never be made of Teflon and my life will never be that easy. It is time to deal......