Move Along......

Nothing of pressing importance to share here. Just babblings.

So karma thinks she is pretty funny. The other days blog had to do with me wanting Teflon, well I got my wish. I just wasn't too happy about how I got it. What happened you ask? I went to Organic Chemistry last night and we spent a solid 20 minutes discussing the molecular composition of it…..blah….blah…..blah….I really didn't give a shit. On the plus side, out of shear exhaustion and giddiness, somehow we lead the lecture into the composition of moonshine to Redneck Zombies to porn to John Holmes and Ron Jeremy. Our professor runs a DSI lab and is quite conservative. This is his first semester teaching and I think we pretty much mortified him in 10 minutes flat. Oh well…..that's what he gets for the shitty ass tests he gives. Right?

I also got my car back. Yeah. We really do have a love hate relationship, but being without her for 23 days really sucked. Even though the rental I had was newer and technically better, I still wanted my car. A few have asked to survey the damage, so here you go……

Thats what happens when a car low to the ground hits a mini-SUV. Not bad for my first "bad" accident. The only problem I am having is that my car looks too new on the front. My step mom told me to take it muddin, so that it matches the rest of the car, but I don't know if that is such a good idea.

Tonight the kiddos have games again. It sucks cuz that means we won't be home til late, but I am looking forward to watching them play, especially my girl. Her enthusiasm and endurance amazes me. She is so much like me in so many ways, which also scares me. Is crazy contagious?? Oh well….at least I will always understand her.

Well that is it.......

Later Tators

Teflon

Disclaimer: This is one of those blogs that will make sense to some and not to others. It will also both make sense and not to some. Understand that? Confused? Good then read on.


So I was loading the dishwasher the other night, which I only do as often as necessary, which is hardly ever, and there was one skillet leftover that there just seemed to be no room for. Typical of my life, I thought......too many dirty dishes, not enough room......too many problems, not enough time.

Anyways…I decided instead of leaving it in the sink for the next go round, which could be a while, I would hand wash it. I am not above getting my hands dirty. So as I was washing the pan, I noticed how easy all the gunk came off because of the Teflon and couldn't help but wish I was made of Teflon.

I wish that the hurts, sorrows, pains, and dramas of my life could be easily wiped away with a sponge just like the pan with Teflon.

But no, everything sticks to me like an old cast iron skillet. Every pain, every bit of sadness, every piece of hurt I carry with me, just sticks and won't go away unless I break out the Brillo pad and force it.

I also realized that the reason why they stick to me that way, is because I let them sit. I let them harden, so I don't have to deal with them. When doing this to myself I try to rationalize that I need time to sort them out, I need closure that I am not getting, and so they sit and wait and get hard.

I know why I am this way. My father is the same way. He doesn't deal with things, unless he has too. It is a very bad habit that I picked up, because now it has become all too easy to just not deal and I don't want that. I want to find inner peace within myself. I don't want my hurt keeping me up all night, haunting my dreams, butting its way into my life constantly. I want to be done with them. I want to let them heal and scab over, if need be. I want to smile again, I want to laugh, and I want to live my life.

So I guess it is time to break out the Brillo pad and pull up my sleeves, because unless a miracle happens......I will never be made of Teflon and my life will never be that easy. It is time to deal......

Moving

I am in the process of transferring all my old blogs from myspace to blogger, so it may look like I am posting a million blogs a day. Not a chance. I am tiring of the myspace blogging thing and don't know how much longer I will hold up there, but I still want to keep track of all my work so I am moving them here. Plus I noticed a myspace spy on my subscription list and I don't want to chance them deleting me and losing everything. Just an FYI.

Nekkid

I know this was supposed to be up Monday, but I couldn't build up enough nerve to follow through with it.

So take a peak if you dare.

1

2

3

On your marks.....

4

5

6

Get set.......

7

8

9

10

GO...........

Don't know what you were expecting, but you oughta know by now that nothing I do is that simple. Happy Tuesday......

Juvies

I was watching the show Juvies last night on MTV and got to tell you I was little shocked. I mean I know that there are kids out there that are lost and need help, but some of the little shitheads need more than a juvenile detention could give them.

There was this one kid, 16 years old, who was high as a kite and he turned in front of another lady and she hit the back of his SUV. When he came in for processing they allowed him to speak with his mother on speaker phone. The mother, as many would have done, started immediately crying and asking him what he was doing to himself. The kid started to laugh and said that he was done with the phone call. No response, no remorse, no I am sorry mom. I was shocked.

I know that each circumstance is different and I understand that there is sometimes angst between parents and children, but I don't understand a kid laughing at his heart broken mother.

They then take the little snotrag to his cell and he proceeded to tell the camera crew that what really sucks about this situation is that it is a Friday night and he would much rather be at a party. And that it really really sucked that he didn't have any weed or cigarettes.

Um okay….that is the worst. Forget the fact that you could have killed someone while you were out screwing around. Forget the fact that you could have killed the other kids in the car. Forget the fact that your mother is at home crying because she can't figure out where she went wrong. Yeah forget all that……..

Fast forward hours later.

They show the kid in his cell, in nothing but his drawers, punching the hell out of his door. In his got damn drawers. WTF! He hits it so many times that he no doubt broke the hell out his hand. When his hand was no longer functional, he started to kick the door. They had to send in a big ass MF to come in and lock his butt down.

Fast forward to visitation.

Mom shows up and does the....everyone loves you and cares for you and you are not a bad kid bullshit. She tells him that he is going to be grounded when he gets out. He gets up, throws a tantrum, and says this place was making him crazy and that it wasn't his fault. It was his friends fault, even though he was driving. He said he shouldn't be there, it was his life and he can do what he wants.

Fast forward to meal time.

He tells his friends that his mother is the one that is messed up. That she should spend a night where he is and that he will talk her out of his grounding as soon as he gets home.

It is Juvie for crying out loud. Not jail or prison or any place where he has to worry about getting butt raped or the snot knocked out of him. Throw his ass in prison, let him run around hitting shit in his drawers. See if Bubba don't find his ass.

I couldn't help but shake my head at the blatant ignorance of this kid. I would never in a million years have ever behaved that way. Don't get me wrong, I have done my share of ignorant childish things and have been arrested before, but I learned my lesson. I didn't use the wake up call I was given, to further harm myself and the others around me.

I tell you what, if that was my kid……I would have called there asses up and told them to pull their damn belts off their pants and give him an ass whooping he would never forget. Give him something to fear….give him a reminder that he is a kid and his outrageous behaviors will not be tolerated.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am not big on spanking. I just think that there are certain times when a child does need a spanking and talking is just not good enough. I got my ass whooped on many occasions and sometimes I didn't think I deserved it, but in reality I did. I am proof that a good old ass whooping leaves an impression. I learned that I was not in control, that my parents were and when I messed up big time, I was going to have to suffer the consequences of my actions. I learned that every negative action has a punishment. I learned right from wrong. My kids have been spanked a time or two and now that if need be, they would get one today. I have no problems with them, outside of petty crap, and they are good kids.

I don't know where I was going with this. I guess it makes me scared of what our society is coming to where my kids are concerned. I guess I am worried that those types of punks are going to be out there, on the road, in my child's school, in my neighborhood, in my life and there is not a damn thing I can do about it. It bothers me that there are so many kids out there that are lost, whether it be by fault of their parents or not and there is nothing the rest of us can physically do about it. It is just too big of a task to take on and beat.

Maybe we need to start a group called "I am gonna whoop your child's ass if you don't".

You think it will fly?? No??

How bout we start with these two…….

Kidding…I just thought those two were was funny as hell. No doubt there mama already got them. lol

Dear Mother Nature

February 16, 2007

Dear Mother Nature,

It has recently come to my attention that you have been slacking on your end of our bargain. As you could imagine, I was utterly shocked this morning as I arrived at work and witnessed such a horrid event taking place. The lawn maintenance guys were actually covering all the outdoor tropical plants, in fear of an upcoming frost. I was very taken aback and deemed that this had to be a simple mistake. This is the sunshine state after all, and we don't cover our plants in the winter this far south and we sure as hell don't have frost. In fact you know very well that we don't have a winter at all. We have forgone the winter season in exchange for a rainy season and blue hair season.

Now if you remember back to our agreement, it was sworn that I would not complain nor wreck havoc with you in exchange for warm and wondrous tropical weather. I would accept the torrential downpours day after day during season and bear the occasional threat of a hurricane. (Although, you pretty much have bent us over the bed on that one the last few years.) I can also wholeheartedly say that I have lived up to my end of the bargain. You on the other hand have not.

Let it be known that I have discussed the current situation with Mr. Weatherman and what the projected conditions for this evening are and I am extremely disappointed in your behavior. He confirmed, to my devastation, that there is indeed a threat of a frost this evening. I told him it must be some kind of mistake, but he reassured me it was not.

So this is the deal.......

I am cold. I don't like to be cold. It has been too got damn cold for the last week and I have just dealt. My blood is too thin to take this shit. I go into fits of shivers numerous times throughout the day. It has got to stop. I don't give a shit what your deal is. I understand that the hot flashes of menopause can be gruesome, but seriously bitch don't take the rest of us down with you.

Know this, I have sent word to Father Time and informed him of your actions. I am sorry it has come to this, but you left me no other option. A girl has got to do, what a girls got to do. I was reassured via messenger that he would be dealing with you directly. You know he and I have an unbreakable bond and I suggest you watch your ass. Rest assured I will get my pound of flesh. Fix what you have broken or pay the consequences.

Colder Than a Witches Tit,

Mystery Inside

Tag

So yeah I was fukentagged by Fukendrinkin, which really fuken sucks let me fuken tell ya.

Normally I would just fuken pretend like I didn't know I was fuken tagged and don't do it, but since I actually got fuken busted on this one…..I will give in. Fukenkudos.

6 random things about me…….

~ I went to band camp once. No I did not play the flute.

~ I have arachnophobia. Spiders are about the only thing, if big enough, that can cripple me with anxiety.

~ I did not have arachnophobia until I watched the movie "Arachnophobia". It is a trauma forced phobia.

~ Sometimes I expect the people in my life to perfect and when theY screw up I come down really hard on them. I realize this and am trying to fix it.

~ I have lived in Nebraska x 2, Texas x 2, Missouri, Georgia, Connecticut, South Carolina for a few weeks, and Florida x 2.

~ I have an extremely high pain tolerance. I once stepped on a large sewing needle and it inserted vertically into the middle/bottom of my foot 2 inches deep…straight in…not a single sob. I was once thrown off a horse (she was a real cunt) and drug by the reins ripping the shit of my fingers (I still have the scars, fortunately they are going away.) and face, not a single sob. She got smacked in the face for that shit though. I have had two c-sections. I started college for the first time 2 weeks after the second one, plus worked 2 part time jobs and a full.

Well that is that. Basically just a bunch of useless information. You may now return to your fun filled lives.

Also...........
I tag no one and no more tags. I mean it. I have a pit bull that will eat your testicle or breasticle for breakfast.

Not really, but it expresses the seriousness of the situation.

Ohh look at the birdie!!

All right that is it damnit. Something has got to give. I am tired. I am so tired that I now have 2 more pretty bruises to add to my collection I have received from flat out walking right into shit. I also just about tripped and knocked myself the eff out walking back to my desk, because apparently my feet are just too damn heavy to pick up. I am mentally and physically tired. Put a damn fork in me I am done.

The last two nights have been realllllyyyy lacking in the sleep department. I have been up til well past midnight doing things that needed to done. (none of them fun mind you) Then when I finally get to bed it is like a damn game. I just get to sleep…..something retarded happens to wake me back up. This goes on and on and on.

Here are a few of the contributing factors……..

Our bedroom TV is possessed. I don't know why or how, but it is. It will all of the sudden just start turning off and on repeatedly without Chris or I touching it. This will go on for about an hour. Off…On…Off…On…. In all actuality the first night this happened, it should have freaked me the hell out, but I was too damn tired to give a shit. I figured if there was a ghost or poltergeist or whatever playing with my TV, so be it I just wanted some sleep. The devil himself could have rose up from the ground and threatened to take my soul and I would have said whatever and tried to go back to sleep.

We have two puppies. For some reason, that I just can't seem to grasp, they want to play WWE during the middle of the night. Their little punk asses will tear all over our bedroom making sure to bump into the bed at least 231546854 times, growling and rolling around, and acting like fools. This really pisses me off after the 2^nd time it happens and I spend the next 231546852 times busting ass, which requires me to be up and out of bed. Good times.

Chris is a heavy sleeper and he snores just as heavily. No fault of his own of course, but it can be rather hard to sleep through. He is also a flopper. I will be laying there on my side and his limbs will suddenly come flying over on top of me near knocking the wind out of me. He also has this thing about having his hand on my face. Now for the record, I do not like my face touched by anyone for any reason. It actually pisses me off, but him being who he is, I let him slide on that one. So I lay there irritated that his hand is on my face until I can actually move it without him putting it right back. Again…good times.

There are many many many other things that I could complain about, like the pack of wild cats outside, the constant sound of fire trucks and ambulances, and my son who get up 35424154 times a night to use the bathroom, but honestly I am too tired………..

I guess I should be thankful, it could be worse right??

MI

Stupid Cupid

So today is the day of love, Valentines Day. I can honestly say that I truly despise this holiday. I think it is the biggest crock of shit. I just don't get it.

It drives me insane that people put the whole bearing of their relationship all on one day and a gift. I can't fathom how that is possible. How can any gauge another's feelings by a mere gift? Isn't it easier to just leave it at……if you love someone and they mean something to you, tell them. Tell them every chance you get, don't put all of your feelings and emotions into something as ridiculous as a bouquet of flowers that are going to die in a few days. Put it into something more lasting, such as continual declarations of love and respect for the one you share your life with.

The thing that gets me the most is how early on in our lives this holiday causes distress. Pressures are put on our kids at school to give Valentines to all the kids in their class and share in a "holiday" party with their other classmates. But as a parent, I don't like the way it makes my kids feel.

For example my son is 7 and wholeheartedly believes that girls have cooties. Every year he gets a class list and we sit down to do the dreaded writing out of his Valentines. When it comes to giving the girls in his class a valentine, he gives me shit. He doesn't want to do, because for him in a way it is admitting that he likes the girl in than platonically. He analyzes what the Valentines say to make sure that he doesn't send the wrong idea to any of the girls in his class. That to me is ridiculous. Why should he have to basically lie about how he feels about a person, just to be able to participate in a class party? He shouldn't. He shouldn't have to say that he "choo choo chooses" anyone. He is way too young to even be thinking about love. He should be much more concerned with other things that are appropriate for his age, but yet the schools go for it and he is left with no other option but to follow along so he doesn't feel left out.

Another example is my daughter. She is 11. For her the whole liking boy thing is new and awkward. She is barely learning about how to react around boys and sort out her feelings towards them and to put any kind of pressure on her to give or receive Valentines only hinders her self-esteem and security. If she doesn't get Valentines, she will feel like shit. If she doesn't give Valentines, someone will make her feel like shit. It is truly a lose-lose situation. I don't understand why in the hell she even has to bother with such a thing, when being a pre-teen is hard enough as it is.

For me it only makes me angry to get a Valentine gift. Don't get me wrong giving me a card or telling me you love me because it is valentines won't send me over the edge, but it only makes me question why you are doing it. Are you doing it because you want to please me because you love me or because you fear my disapproval? I don't know if any of this has to do with the fact that I don't like getting gifts in general. I don't like to have someone give me something and worry about not giving them the reaction they would like to receive. Truth of the matter is I don't need much in my life and when I get a gift I can only think of the fact that there were better ways to have spent that money. I can't justify it in my mind why I am deserving of a gift. I would much rather you love me all year long. I would much rather have your devotion and respect, than some pre-made card with someone else's words on. I would much rather hold the key to your heart, than shovel down a box of fattening chocolates.

Tolerance

Tolerance…..

I just don't get it…or rather mine anyways. Some things I have high tolerances for and others I don't. Some days you can walk the fuck all over me and others if you so much as look at me cross, the claws come out.

I am really starting to think it has grown to have a fickle little mind of its own. It does what it wants when it wants and answers to no one. It is a separate, yet intertwined part of my being. It is a force to be reckoned with, yet it is also a giver.

Let's have a little looksie at what I am talking about, shall we??

Example 1:

My son comes to my room last night, oh about 65484324567 times, to inform me after every level he has beaten on his new game. It would normally be no big deal, but I was writing a paper and as many of you know once that train of thought leaves the station…it is gone.

What level of tolerance did I have?? Extremely high. It didn't bother me one bit, but last week when he did it……lord the floors shook in fear as I told him if he interrupted me one more time, me and him was gonna have a discussion.

Example 2:

My daughter overflows the toilet in the bathroom, because apparently she didn't have her imaginary hearing aid in that allows her to hear what the hell I am saying. I tell her not to flush the toilet again, but she does anyways.

What level of tolerance did I have?? Extremely high. I just shook my head and cleaned it up. But, she installed some new software onto her computer, after I told that shitbird not too, and the smoke was coming out of my ears.

Example 3:

Chris snores his ass off all night long. I get no sleep when he and I share these special little moments. Normally I would lie their contemplating how to suffocate him without getting pinned for murder, just so I can get some sleep.

What level of tolerance did I have?? Extremely high. Last night….didn't give two shits. Just laid there majority of the night staring at the ceiling. But, earlier in the evening he made some smarty ass comment to me and I was like back the fucking bus up bitch and threw up the fists.

I don't know. I just don't know.

It kinda makes me wonder what actually goes through my tolerances mind when it makes these decisions. What is it thinking when it lets something go that it shouldn't? What is its method of choosing who feels its wrath or who feels its forgiveness?

Who knows and the reality of it is, I never will. I guess that's why I am Mystery Inside.

Unrelated info:

~Thanks to all who sent birthday wishes.

~My cell phone committed suicide and threw itself on the ground and didn't survive. I don't know when I will have time to get a new one. God forbid Nextel puts a store anywhere near where I live. Me and them is going to have to have a discussion on that one.

~My car will not be fixed until the end of next week. I have a rental car, but seriously I am tired of driving the little football on wheels they gave me, otherwise known as a ford focus. I want my piece of shit back.

~The Guardian is a good movie.

Dear,

Dear Powers That Be,

I am writing you this letter in utter distress. I can no longer take the ignorance that you are throwing at me today. A person can only handle so much. I think it can be said that I have handled my fair share of shit, without much in the ways of complaints, and that my request is one that is easily fulfilled. If you do not comply within moments of your receipt of this letter, I fear I will have to take matters into my own hands by use of drastic measures. Someone will no longer have any snot. I swear to it. Please please do not make me resort to this type of behavior, for it is very unfitting of a lady.

Desperate For Relief,

Mystery Inside

Does it really matter what the title is?

Let me just first start off by saying this has been the week from hell. The shit has really been hitting the fan.

Seriously screw this week and the horse it rode in on, cuz this bitch is done. I won't sit here and bore you with the long details, so here are the short ones.

I managed to buy my son 2 left shoes and my daughter 2 different sizes this weekend and realized it at separate times. I think I cracked a bone in my hand and it hurts. Windows Vista is a dirty rotten whore - seriosly. I got in an accident - a pretty bad one and don't know how things are going to work out with my car. I spent 4 hours in organic chem lab on Monday measuring the purity of urea samples and that shit is just not right. I spent over 2 thousand dollars in a matter of two days on tuition fees and orthodontic payments. And blah blah blah life sucks…….

There are a few other extremely shitty things going on, but those ones I am gonna keep for myself. They are just at the surface and haven't boiled over yet.

On another note, I have been tagged. I usually won't do them, but since I was tagged by a family member, I will make and exception. (…..and no I don't link family members, because some of you crazy asses harass my family)

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 7 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 7 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

~I like ketchup and nacho Doritos.

~I like sugar and butter on my white rice and grits.

~My eyes change colors with my mood and color of my clothes.

~I have arachnophobia – almost so sever that I hyperventilate.

~I can give injections, but if a needle comes near my arm and I am watching it, I will pass out. Oddly though, I can get a tattoo no problem.

~I can read and process large amounts of information, very quickly.

~I love to sit back and watch people. Watch how they behave and interact in their daily life. I find it funny how different human beings are and how they respond to different stimuli.

Well at least it is Friday and that calls for a little dancing. Doncha think?

Done

Let me just first start off by saying this has been the week from hell. The shit has really been hitting the fan.

Seriously screw this week and the horse it rode in on, cuz this bitch is done. I won’t sit here and bore you with the long details, so here are the short ones.

I managed to buy my son 2 left shoes and my daughter 2 different sizes this weekend and realized it a separate times. I think I cracked a bone in my hand. Windows Vista is a dirty rotten whore. I got in an accident – a pretty bad one and don’t know how things are going to work out with my car. I spent 4 hours in organic chem lab on Monday measuring the purity of urea samples and that shit is just not right. I spent over 2 thousand dollars in a matter of two days on tuition fees and orthodontic payments. And blah blah blah life sucks…….

There are a few other extremely shitty things going on, but those ones I am gonna keep for myself. They are just at the surface and haven’t boiled over yet.

On another note, I have been tagged.

THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the 7 weird things about themselves. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 7 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

~I like ketchup and nacho Doritos.

~I like sugar and butter on my white rice and grits.

~My eyes change colors with my mood and color of my clothes.

~I have arachnophobia – almost so sever that I hyperventilate.

~I can give injections, but if a needle comes near my arm and I am watching it, I will pass out. Oddly though, I can get a tattoo no problem.

~I can read and process large amounts of information, very quickly.

~I love to sit back and watch people. Watch how they behave and interact in their daily life. I find it funny how different human beings are and how they respond to different stimuli.

Well at least it is Friday and that calls for a little dancing. Doncha think?