THE EAR

I think a while back I told you all that one of the newest editions to our household was Chris' son's 4 month old pug, "Sam". The funniest thing happened last night and it just so happens to deal with him. Well no it wasnt funny, it was rather traumatizing and I figured I would share with you all so you can laugh at me, like you normally do.

Growing up we always had dogs, in fact we had a great deal of animals. A few farm-like animals, but mainly horses, lots of them, and yes I did ride. But for the record I did not, nor would I ever, wear wranglers. I do have some pretty good horse related stories though, one of these days I will share some.

Anyways, I got way off track there, so as I was saying we have a puppy in the condo. I don't mind dogs; I just get all anal about them being in my place of habitation. I don't like the fact that they drool, relieve themselves, shed and basically wipe their ass all over my carpet. The carpet, mind you, that I walk on barefoot. I don't like having them in the condo and would prefer they be outside doing all of the above, but that is just not a possibility due to where we live. I accepted this dog into our home, because he was part of the package and I understand the attachments that people develop with dogs.

So needless to say, it has been really hard for me to just go with the flow on this, but I think I have done an awesome job. The only thing that sucks is that it is something else that now demands my attention and time. He will follow me around until I acknowledge him and is forever licking the back of my legs, which I sometimes dont realize he is doing, because I will be wrapped up in something else. Some of you may be thinking awww how cute, but it is saliva that he is putting on the back of my legs. So no, not cute. I rarely full out bitch about the dog related things in an effort to make peace with the situation, until last night that is............

As many of you know, or may not know, I don't eat pork. The thought of eating a pig just grosses me the hell out.

So yesterday after getting home from work I start quickly getting the shit I need to get done, before I had to leave for class in 20 minutes. I am walking through the dining room.......I think it was the dining..........well I was walking somewhere in the condo and there it was on my effin floor. A GOT DAMN PIGS EAR. I fully understand that dogs chew on those sorts of thing. We lived out in the "country" growing up and the dogs we had brought rotting corpses up to the house to chew on all the time. Nasty, but a reality of their nature. I just don't want that reality in my DAMN condo on my DAMN carpet. As soon as I seen it and looked over at Chris he must have seen something, because he said he was sorry and didn't think that I would mind. Well "HELL YEAH" I minded. I didn't want that shit on my carpet. To solve the issue he tells me it will be put in the dogs cage and it can stay there. So I say fine and tell he please not to buy anymore of them. Situation resolvedso you would think.

I come home last night after taking the crappiest final ever (isn't that right Sheri) and put my stuff up and start cleaning up and doing other BS stuff. I am over wiping the table off and I hear my name. I dont stop, but say what and continue. Then it happened. My foot touched something. Yes you know what it is, the EAR. A plethora of cuss words went through my head as soon as it happened. I look over at Chris and he said "I tried to warn you, but you didnt listen." So basically I was saying what for the hell of it, I guess.

I think it would have made me feel okay about the whole situation if I could have just burned my foot off, but well then I would have a funky limp and that doesnt work for me. Even right now I am getting the heaby jeabies just thinking about it.

Anyways, apparently last night, the ear never made it to the cage. I swear I think the people in my house know when I am too busy to be able to deal with their shit and they plan to get away with everything at those times. They know that they can be lazy about things, because I dont have the memory capacity to follow up on things.

So last night the ear went in the cage. I even checked before I went to bed and it was there. But I swear if I see it anywhere outside that cage again I am chucking it out the door. Well may I will pick it up with some tongs and fling it out the door, but the other way sounded much cooler.

Just to proove I am not nuts I would like to submit into evidence...........

Exhibit A:

(okay so his eyes are not green and this is a very unflattering picture)