♠Mystery's Randomness♠: I should have listened to Mom!

Damn I am really starting to wish I listened to my mom more when I was growing up. She used to warn me all the time to "Remember that one day your children will be twice as shitty to you as you are to me." Oh the regret. It is now official that she was right and my punishment has arrived. My daughter is a raging ball of female hormones and my son is a chauvinistic little piglet.

Exhibit A:

I swear to god that I don't know where my daughter gets the nerve to defy me in the manner that she does, but she does it. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does. God damn I can really see why animals in the wild eat their young. I am not the kind of person that will sit by idly and take someone elses bullshit, but my threats mean squat to her. It is like riding an emotional roller coaster with her. One minute she is happy and joking and the next minute, you are the bitch that just pissed in her cheerios and she is making you pay for it. The scary thing about all this is that this is just the beginning of her journey into womanhood. She hasn't even experienced the joys of her monthly friend yet.

I think I will stick around just long enough to tell her about how to take care of her friend and then I am hitting the road.

Exhibit B:

As for my 6 year old son, well that's another story. The best example of this is to tell you about the nice little conversation we had on the way home from school yesterday.

For some reason he is extremely hyper when I pick him up and he starts nibbing through everything in my car. He is touching everything and questioning everything. He starts digging in the glove box and pulls out a bag with a receipt in it for my blinker. This is how the conversation went:

Him: What is this?

Me: None of your business put it back.

Him: Well what is it?

Me: Like I said none of your business now put it back. (Now mind you I am trying to drive home during rush hour traffic and every old fart with a license is out at this time.)

Him: But mom I just want to know what it is!

Me: You just need to learn that not everything is your business.

Him: Mom it is the males business and the male gave stuff to you in the first place and if we want to we can take it back.

Me: Are you shitting me? Where did you learn that wonderful bit of wisdom?

Him: **smiles**

I don't know where I went wrong. I mean I didn't think that I was that bad to my mother. I foresee a future of Xanax and Valium just to make it through the next 15 years or so until I ship their asses off to college.