Was I Really This Lame?

I came across this narrative story, that I wrote for one of my college classes quite a few months ago, when I was looking through my school computer files.  It's kinda lame, but just thought I would share. lol I can't believe I got away with using such fowl language and that I was such a lamo. 

Also, The Questions You Asked Part 1 will be up this afternoon.  We are having some technically difficulties.  Well honestly I am the technical difficulty since I am a retard and saved the file in the wrong format.  So I have to wait until Chris can resend it to me in the correct format from home.  I am off to lunch and don't make to much fun.  Happy Friday!!!!

 

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I awoke to sound of an awful banging noise outside my window. I couldnt even open my eyes to find out what it was.  It was as if they were glued shut.  My head hurts so badly, it feels as if it is going to explode.  I lay there motionless trying figure out what it was exactly that I did last night. 

 

"Why do I always do this to myself?  When will enough be enough?"

 

I slowly opened my eyes and started to sit up.  I felt a strong wave of nauseousness surge through my entire body.  But I held it in.  I didnt need it that badly.  As I started to stand the room began to spin and I fell back down hard onto the bed. 

 

"You are such a fucking moron for letting this get the best of you.  You are so weak."

 

Finally after a few moments I was able to stand.  I walked over towards the bathroom and then it hit again.  My stomach began to churn.  I ran furiously to the toilet and began to vomit.  There was no stopping it this time.  There was nothing I could do, but give in.

 

"This is what you get you fucking loser.  You never learn your lesson."

 

I flushed the toilet and pushed myself up and stood in front of the sink.  As I turned on the water I looked in the mirror at myself.  I looked awful and I have looked that way for months.  The circles under my eyes were darker and my skin had become even pastier.  I splashed cold water on my face and turned off the faucet.  I open the medicine cabinet, grab myself two aspirins, close the door and start to turn away but I hesitate and take one last look in the mirror at what I had become before heading to back to bed.

 

"You are so god damn pathetic and there is no one left to help you now. You are screwed now bitch."

 

I make my way over to the window and look outside to see what the noise was, but no one was there.  I closed the blinds and walked back over to the bed.  I sat down and stared at the aspirins in my hand.  I reach over to the night stand where my water usually I, but it wasnt water that was there.  It was the poison that I had become so addicted to.  The one thing that had taken away everything and everyone in my life.  The one who tricked me into thinking that I couldnt live without it and that everything would be better if I just had it in me.  I picked up the bottle and I caulked my arm back as if I was going to toss it across the room. 

 

"You wont do it you are too much of a pussy.  You need me too much."

 

I laugh to myself.  I mean who am I trying to kid.  Myself?  I lower my arm slowly and hold the bottle in my lap.  I begin to feel a strong sense of need and uncontrollable want.  My body began to ache and quiver with anticipation.  I raise the bottle to my mouth.  I like my lips, hesitate, and then begin to drink.  I drank until the fire inside was put out and then when the burning was no more I put the bottle down.  I set the aspirins on the night stand for later and then lay back into to bad.  I crawl all the way under the blankets and drift off back to sleep in hopes that this is all just a bad dream.

 

"I told you that you were weak.  I own you.  There is no turning back."